How I Spent My Morning

Ever tried collecting a urine sample from a dog?  That's what I was doing first thing this morning.  

My girl is scheduled for some doggy dental work next week.  Because they have to do that under a general anesthesia some preliminary blood and urine tests had to be done.  Yesterday my vet called to say there were some problems with the results and could I bring the dog in to discuss it.  

Now let me preface this by saying that my dog is a healthy happy active eight year old.  So it didn't make much sense to me, or the vet, that the blood tests showed she was anemic, her red and white blood cell counts were low, she wasn't producing enough red blood cells and her urine was dilute.  So what were we looking at here?  Kidneys?  Spleen?  Leukemia?  She had just had a complete physical and was pronounced healthy but now the vet was questioning herself.  So another complete physical. My dog does not like anything coming remotely close to her butt.  The thermometer was not a high point of her day.

Everything checked out.  Hmmm, did the lab mix up the test results?  Take some more blood and run a quick test in the office.  That's normal.  

And now your mission, should you chose to accept it...No water for 12 hours then collect a urine sample.  So armed with a little tray and sample bottle we set out for an early morning walk.  The first time she squatted I tried to shove the tray under her from behind.  She gave me a "wtf do you think you're doing?" look and continued on without so much as a squirt.  Next squat I tried putting the tray under her from the side and only succeeded in hitting her legs.  Now this is a dog who will sniff, sniff, sniff, squat and squirt 80 times on an average walk.  Today it was full steam ahead.  

Finally I managed to get the tray under her and collected...about four drops.  And then we found our rhythm.   She has this interesting way of lifting her back end while balancing and walking on her front legs and peeing at the same time.  Made for nice clearance to get the tray under.  After four more squats I had what I considered to be a suitable amount of pee.

Back to the vet we went.  It tested fine.  It's looking more and more like the lab screwed up.  But better take some more blood and send it off.  Poor girl.  Worse yet -- who's the dog who's been pronounced healthy but has some fairly serious issues going on?

All this before my morning coffee.