That's A Wrap

Well folks, that's it for 2013.  And for Outing My Inner Hoarder.  I started this blog as part of my 2013 New Year's resolution to purge my house of all the excess junk and stuff that had it bursting at the seams.  And even though the house isn't entirely free of stuff, I'd say I got about 95% of it done. That's pretty good for a New Year's resolution.  Sure wish my weight loss resolution had been as successful.  But hey -- there's always 2014.

One of the fun parts of writing a blog is watching the page views climb and seeing where people are checking it out from.  I had over 5100 looks from 25 different countries.  Now I'm no fool -- I know that some of the page views were accidental, people cruising around looking for something else and landing on my blog.  My top countries were Canada and the USA of course, followed by Russia, Germany and South Korea.  I'm pretty sure they weren't all accidental and that at least one someone in Germany and one in South Korea were reading as I got a hit from those countries every time I put up a new post.  So...hey to you guys (you can't see me waving, but I am.)

And while I am retiring Outing My Inner Hoarder, I'm starting a new blog. Something a little more inclusive than cleaning out my house, although I did run off on several tangents while doing that, didn't I.

The new blog is called Green Jar Adventures and can be found here at greenjaradventures.blogspot.ca in the new year.  Maybe January 1st, most likely the 2nd.  I hope you'll join me and read along.  Don't go looking now -- all you'll find is a big empty while I try to figure out colours and text fonts.

Until then, thanks to everyone for reading.

Cheers to 2014!
 

Drum Roll Please....

Cast your eyes to the right.  A little further...down a little...a little further...no, now back to the left a bit...there!  I did it.  Sixty books in 2014.  With three days to spare.  Whew!

And now for the Outing My Inner Hoarder Awards...

Favourite Five (in no particular order):  Faithful Place - Tana French
                                                             Gone Girl - Gillian Flynn
                                                             The Art of Racing in the Rain - Garth Stein
                                                             Doctor Sleep - Stephen King
                                                             The Gods of Guilt - Michael Connelly
(Honourable Mentions go to Stephen King's Joyland and Tana French's Broken Harbour.  Favourite authors rarely disappoint, guess that's why they become our favourites.)

Favourite Fun Read:  Free Fall - Chris Grabenstein (this one should also be in my Fav Five but then that would make six so it gets a category all its own.  Grabenstein's Jersey Shore mystery series featuring John Ceepak and Danny Boyle is the most fun series I've ever read.  Try it, you won't be disappointed. But be sure to start at the beginning with Tilt A Whirl and read them in order.)

Biggest Surprises:  The Dinner - Herman Koch
                               Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children - Ransom Riggs
                               The Language of Flowers - Vanessa Diffenbaugh
(And I mean surprises in a good way.)

Best Non-Fiction:  Escape From Camp 14 - Blaine Harden

Biggest Disappointment:  Allegiant - Veronica Roth (a really really really disappointing finish to what had started out as a pretty good YA series...too bad)
(Honourable Mentions -- or perhaps that should be dishonourable mentions -- go to The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion, The Sisters Brothers by Patrick deWitt and The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce.  For me they just didn't live up to all the hype and great reviews.  Sorry.  And a special mention to The Cuckoo's Calling by Robert Galbraith aka JK Rowling.  The Harry Potter series is hands down one of the best ever written so maybe that's why I found this mystery so very very disappointing.  Hmmm...maybe this one should have tied with Allegiant.)

Weirdest Book:  The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender (had to read this after two people in my book club RAVED about it.  All I can say is...Wow...that was one weird read.)

Wished I Hadn't Bothered:  The End of Your Life Book Club by Will Schwalbe
                                          The Four Stages of Cruelty by Keith Hollihan
(I should have adhered to the advice offered by a member of my book club -- Take 100 and subtract your age.  That's how many pages you have to read before you toss a book.  Guess when you're 99 books have to grab you on the first page because you may not have many reading days left and no point wasting them on bad books.)

Favourite New Author:  Joe Hill (okay, he's not new, he's been around for a few years, but he's new to me.  I finished the year on his debut book of short stories and was suitably impressed.  Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.  His papa is Stephen King, in case you didn't know.)

Well, that's a wrap for my 2013 Book Challenge.  Will I try to beat my record in 2014?  Not a chance. While I am never not reading a book, I don't want to feel compelled to have to read.  That happened sometimes this year with that goal I'd set.

And next year I have a few new tricks up my sleeve.

Ten Little Known Christmas Facts

1...Calories consumed between Christmas and New Year's do not show up on the scale (or in the waistband of your jeans) until January 2nd.

2...Not all kids who are spoiled turn out to be spoiled kids.  It's how they are raised the other 364 days of the year that makes the difference.

3...Brussel sprouts, turnip and parsnips were planted by aliens in the 16th century and were never intended for human consumption.

4...Aliens also invented stuffing.

5...90% of the plastic novelties found in Christmas crackers are unidentifiable.

6...Originally, nog was a strong beer.  Until beer drinking chickens forced farmers to find something to do with all those eggs.

7...Turkey basters were designed to baste turkeys.  And that's it.  Just turkeys.

8...If you have a live tree, you will impale your foot on a dried pine needle sometime in the month of June.

9...Dogs and cats do not enjoy wearing Santa hats or reindeer antlers.  Jingle bell collars are fine.

and last but not least...

10...Wishing someone a Merry Christmas should never be considered bad form, politically incorrect, or insensitive to other religions.  Hey -- it's not like you said, "Go F*** yourself."  Now that would be bad form. 

IT'S CHRISTMAS...HAVE A MERRY ONE! 

FaLaLaLaLa

At the risk of alienating myself and being shunned by Christmasphiles, I'm going to admit something  -- I don't particularly like Christmas music.  Sorry, just not a fan.  And with every musical artist and his brother putting out an album of Christmas tunes, it's pretty hard to get away from for the better part of December.  Thank God for CD players and USB connections in cars.  Christmas specials on TV?  Nope, don't watch 'em, except for maybe Blake Shelton 'cause he's doesn't always play nice, even when it is Christmas

But (c'mon, there's always a but...or an except for) -- when I was in Italy we accompanied a friend to a choir practice.  He had recently joined the choir (and quit soon after) but (see, there it is again) for that night anyway, we got to listen to a group of heavenly voices practicing for a Christmas concert.  They were learning the harmonies for several songs and maybe it was being in a foreign country, maybe it was the acoustics, or maybe it was because it was live, but man oh man, was it beautiful.  Even in Italy, they sing the carols and songs in English and we were called upon to explain the meaning of Deck the Halls.  

My only regret was that I wasn't going to be there to hear them perform in concert.  Shortly after choir practice we were exploring the catacombs under the Basilica and came upon a room with a huge vaulted ceiling and a wooden platform at one end.  Wouldn't it be an awesome venue for a concert?  Turns out, that was exactly where it was being held.  Had I been there, I would have been first in line.

Would have had Elmo & Patsy singing Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer beat all to hell.  

Let It Snow

When you grow up with the picture postcard white Christmas, it takes some getting used to the colour green at this time of year.  My little island in the Pacific gets snowed on every now and then but it's definitely not the norm and this year is proving no different.  According to the weather forecasters (and we all know we can safely put our money on them) there is only an 11% chance that I'll be seeing a white Christmas this year.  The last time we had snow for the big day was 2008 and when I say snow I mean SNOW!!

The only reason I remember this so vividly is because my community was hosting the World U17 Hockey Tournament and I was in charge of accreditation.  No one got into the arena -- from players to refs to volunteers -- without first coming by me, getting their photo taken and having the appropriate colour coded photo ID pass issued to them.  I spent a lot of time that year digging out my driveway, driving to the arena, working all day/night, digging out my car, driving home, digging out my driveway ...repeat...repeat...repeat...

It's a kick now when I'm watching an NHL game and hear the name of a player who was here in 2008 and yeah, you're right -- it is pretty damn impressive that I still remember names from all those players I photographed...but I digress.  Where was I?  Oh yeah -- the white Christmas.

So what's a girl to do when the grass is green and the skies are grey?  And the forecast says, 'Nothing but rain on the way...'  OMG...I'm rhyming.  Stop it NOW.  

What I'm trying to say is -- when there's no snow for snowmen, sometimes you have to improvise.
A little glass, a little solder, a little wire, a little ribbon... So what does one call a whole bunch of snowmen?  I love collective nouns.  You could say I collect collective nouns -- a shiver of sharks...an unkindness of ravens...a bloat of hippopotamuses...but snowmen?  An avalanche?  A freeze?

How about flurry?  A flurry of snowmen.

What Memories Taste Like

Just like music, food can take us back to a time, a place, a moment in our lives, maybe even the people we were with.  Hopefully your most powerful food memory is not the disgusting cold peas you were gagging on while trying to clean your plate to earn dessert.

And speaking of dessert....

When I was a kid my grandmother made these awesome squares at Christmastime.  They were soooo gooey and good.  She passed away when I was fairly young and the squares faded from memory.  As an adult, baking became my thing and Christmas my season.  Every year I would turn out dozens of different cookies and squares, always trying a few new things each year, but never forgetting to make the favourites.  A few years back I tried this marshmallow square recipe (no, not the Rice Krispie variety).  It was fast, easy and no bake.  When I cut the pan into squares and took my first bite I was suddenly ten years old again.  Holy crap!! These were my grandmother's squares. I didn't even remember them until that bite.  But with that one bite I was instantly back in her house at Christmas surrounded by aunts and uncles and cousins.  I'm tellin' ya, I could have wept.

I no longer bake a ton of stuff at Christmas, mostly because there are fewer people around to eat it so then I have to and then that leads to the kind of New Year's resolutions that involves scales and sweating a lot.  Yah, you know what I'm talking about.  But I still make my grandmother's squares, 'cause for me, they taste like Christmas.

So in the spirit of giving and sharing at Christmastime, I here now share with you my grandmother's marshmallow square recipe.  But they won't taste the same to you.

You don't have my memories.  

These Are A Few Of My Favourite Things

Cast your mind back....waaaay back.  To when you were a kid and Christmas was magical.  To the Christmas mornings when you got your parents up at 4:00 and 5:00 (and I'm talking a.m.) because you just couldn't wait one more minute to see what was under the tree.  Can you ever remember not opening your presents while it was still dark out?  And just what did you find under that tree?  What were your all time favourite presents?  Three things stick out for me.

When I was a kid, Santa always paid a visit live in person on Chrismas Eve, before he started his rounds in his sleigh.  He'd burst in the front door and give each of us three kids a present.  Years later we found out that a group of dads in our neighbourhood rented suits and went to every house for a visit.  If the parents wanted a Santa visit they would leave the gifts and a quarter (to help defray the cost of the suits) in the milk chute.  Remember those?  Back in the day when the milkman delivered door to door, there was a small door on the side of the house that opened from both the outside and inside so the milkman could leave the milk and you could retrieve it without it being left outside...but I digress.

One year (I think I was about 5 years old) Christmas Eve Santa brought me a Lady and the Tramp colouring book.  Oh man, I loved that colouring book and was so careful colouring everything perfectly...Lady's fur light brown, her ears dark brown.  Every page was a work of 5 year old art.

Then there was Bugs Bunny.  He wasn't just any stuffed toy -- Bugs could talk!  Pull the string and he said nine different things in Bugs Bunny's real voice.  (Toy Story revived the pull-the-string talking toy with Woody but you didn't get Tom Hanks on the other end of the string.)  My Bugs says:  Hi, I'm Bugs Bunny;  Now hug me tight; I'm sleepy; Heya, take me with ya; Yipes! I hurt myself; Now take it easy; Hehehe...you're a cute bunny; I love carrots (complete with munching sounds); and of course, Yaa, what's up doc?  Now before you go thinking I have the most amazing memory ever, you can stop being impressed.  The fact is, I still have old Bugs.  Sure he's a little worse for wear.  He's a bit twisted and floppy but he still talks.  His full repertoire, loud and clear.  How cool is that?

When I was probably 8 or 9 years old I got a microscope.  Anything and everything I could get my hands on went on a slide for my inspection.  No insect was safe within 10 feet of me.  But the absolute best part of the microscope kit?  A jar with a dead frog in formaldehyde. I'm pretty sure that's no longer standard issue.  I removed the frog's eyes and, after studying them under the microscope, kept them wrapped in a tissue in my pocket.  I'd go up to other kids on the playground and whisper, "Pssst....wanna see some frog eyes?"  I'm thinking now if I hadn't gone into law enforcement a career as a drug dealer or selling fake watches from the inside of a trench coat might have been in my future.

And when it came time to dissect frogs in grade 11 biology and everyone else was totally grossed out?  Well, let's just say I was an old hand at it.

Ahhh...Christmas memories.