Typical night scenario #1: 1) Go to bed (sometime between 11:00 - 12:00). 2) Listen to the dog snore. 3) Read until book is in danger of bloodying nose (sometime between 12:00 - 1:00). 4) Put book down, take off glasses, turn out light. 5) Find comfortable position on right side. 6) Find comfortable position on left side. 7) Flip the pillow to the cold side. 8) Find comfortable position on back. 9) Move feet around to find the cold spots. 10) Fall asleep. 11) Wake up at 2:30. 12) Repeat steps 5 - 9. 13) Repeat steps 5 - 9. 14) Calculate the amount of time you have left to sleep if you fall asleep NOW. 15) Listen to the dog snore. 16) Repeat steps 5 - 9. 17) Listen to the birds waking up after a full night's sleep in their cozy little nests, yawning and stretching their little wings, ready to greet another day with a song in their beaks. 18) Fantasize about birdocide. 19) Watch the venetian blinds on the window as the light between the slats gets brighter and brighter. 20) Calculate the amount of time you have left to sleep if you fall asleep NOW. 21) If you fall asleep NOW. 22) How about NOW. 23) Fall asleep (sometime between 5:00 - 6:00). 24) Wake up (sometime between 7:00 - 8:00). 25) Listen to the dog snore.
Typical night scenario #2: Repeat scenario #1. Eliminate Steps 10 and 11. Add more Steps 2, 15 and 25.
Aaaaaaah, cute dog! And I can relate to your dilemma. I would eliminate the dog snoring and add the following steps:
ReplyDeleteQuilt off because too warm.
Sheet off because too warm.
Sheet on because too cold.
Quilt on because too cold
Repeat, repeat, repeat....
Haha...I hear ya! Feet in, feet out, arms in, arms out, flip the pillow....
ReplyDelete